imageKaren and I used to play gigs at Dillons in Haslett. One night four guys came in, of the sort that most likely had never been in a bar. The kind with pocket protectors, calculator holsters and their top buttons fastened. It was obvious they had never smoked because they held their cigarettes awkwardly and coughed a lot. It was an Easter Egg hunt. They would scope out a cutie, all would stare and put their heads together and giggle like little girls. They were hurriedly getting trashed. The Alpha male left a cigarette in his mouth the whole time like James Dean. You could tell it was driving him crazy as he kept wincing. Then ten beautiful sorority sisters walked through the door. They were dressed to the Nines but the standout was a tall long haired blonde with a pink mohair sweater. These guys started seizing. The Mother Lode. They giggled and put their heads together to plan their strategy. The Alpha was bestowing his knowledge of CHICKS!!! With his cigarette hanging, and beer in hand, the Alpha rose and swaggered toward the trophy blonde. The remaining guys were wide eyed with anticipation. Alpha squatted next to the blonde and began talking her up. She was not receptive. All the while the cigarette smoke was rising into his face. He tried to change the angle of his head, lost his balance falling forward and stuck his cigarette right into her mohair sweater. It went up like a torch. Everything got chaotic then. He rose from the floor and threw his beer on the fire, her face and hair. Karen and I missed the next verse but kept playing. The blonde about smacked the shit out of Alpha. The sisters were yelling obscenities. He walked dejectedly back to his table without his cigarette. Or the girl. The guys all got up, hang dog, and walked out the door. Cigarettes burning and beers unfinished.

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